Even with easily accessible resources on social media to help identify the type of relationship you are in, your South-Asian upbringing may restrict you from questioning unhealthy behaviours. A frustrating taboo in most households, the debate of the ‘South-Asian’ version of healthy relationships is always ongoing. Far too frequently, we are surrounded by relatives who claim they’re in healthy relationships, but actions rarely meet the words.
Here are five easy ways to identify if your relationship is healthy and happy or toxic and dangerous. All you need to do is check the boxes. (Don’t worry, we’ve added a lot of tips to help you through any negative traits as well).
You can’t grow as an individual to meet your life’s full potential.
In a healthy relationship, you can speak to your partner about anything. From your career choices, desired life ambitions and side-hustles you want to start. On the other hand, a toxic relationship is filled with guilt, shame and forces you to deny your truth. This may begin with small things, like different music choices and then manifest to more significant decisions of your life, like deciding to invest in a new course or hobby. Therefore, you aren’t respected and cannot open up in a safe and supportive space because of your partner’s actions.
The relationship trait is more than a simple troubling moment in your relationship, but a severe warning sign of a toxic and unhealthy relationship. If this is you, try speaking to your friends and family and take some time to assess your relationship.
Your boundaries are constantly pushed.
Danger is a common warning sign of a toxic relationship. This may be a physical threat where your partner abuses you (we’ve added women abuse charity links below). But more often than not, your partner could be pushing your boundaries and disrespecting your values. To help you understand your boundaries, write down your ideal relationship scenario and compare it to the real-life actions of your partner. For example, suppose you never imagined you would reach arguments resulting in abusive language or recognise out of character traits from yourself and your partner. In that case, this is a sign your relationship may be unhealthy. In a wholesome relationship, you and your partner can communicate and set healthy boundaries, which are respected on both sides, even in the most extreme moments of the connection.